I Think I Need to Leave the House More.

This song just…defines me right now. So just put it on and then read my post while listening. And realize it has absolutely nothing to do with what I’m writing about. It’s just my song of the moment.

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So you know how sometimes you have days where you are just Cranky McCrankerson and you get snappy? You’re all headachey and moody and holy fuck did that person really just do that? And you decide you’re just going to join a convent because this whole dating thing isn’t going the way you want and then you remember you can’t have sex in a convent and scratch that idea IMMEDIATELY. And you conveniently forget things, like the fact that you are a GIRL and the crazies are really just part of the package of being a girl. Once you realize that though, everything gets better and you’re no longer AS stabby as you’ve been the past couple days. You still shouldn’t be allowed to talk to anyone, but the crazy has subsided enough for you to appear normal again.

It helps when your parents walk into the room you’re in, tell you they have something they need to talk about and you’re POSITIVE they’re going to try to convince you that you shouldn’t move to Colorado in three weeks–NO MAKE THAT TWO WEEKS–and you’re preparing yourself to wage war. Then they throw a car key at your head and you’re all WHAT THE EFF? And you go running to the window and it’s better than christmas and your birthday combined because there is a gorgeous new car sitting outside and your parents are saying something about how that’s YOUR car but you can’t really hear them because HOLY SHIT YOU HAVE A CAR!

And the world explodes and it’s all shiny sparkly light and you just want to HUG your car and take a million pictures with it. You drive around with the stereo blasting in your BRAND NEW CAR. It’s snowing outside and you don’t care because you have four wheel drive and wind shield wipers that work and brakes that brake and this is your car–YOURS–and everything is falling into place perfectly. You hug your parents and wish your grandmother was there to hug her because it was her gift to you and you’re just so excited because IT’S A CAR. And it’s so much more than you thought you’d ever get.

Of course headaches don’t go away just because you get a car, and stabbypants doesn’t leave either but for a minute you’re so happy you want to go high five strangers (and low five, even). Oh who are you kidding? It’s not just for a minute. You still want to.

Then you try figuring out how a website is built or something and your head explodes from not understanding it. And from the mess on the floor you try to explain to your boss how to do whatever it is you have to do and you’re both confused and you both end up laughing hysterically about how absolutely chinese it is. (No offense to the chinese, it’s just…I’d learn chinese faster than HTML. And I’m not good with languages.) Then you count yourself lucky that your old boss (current boss?) is effing fantastic and if you could combine her with your old coworkers and pajamas til 3pm you’d have the PERFECT job.

Then you start singing along at the top of your lungs to Rihanna’s Hard “I’ma rock this shit like fashion, as in goin’ til they say stop And my runway never looked so clear But the hottest bitch in heels right here No fear, and while you getting your cry on I’m getting my fly on Sincere, I see you aiming at my pedastal I betta let ya’ know” except you don’t really know the REAL lyrics and they come out sounding alittle weird. Then you look out the window and there’s your pretty new car and HOLY SHIT YOU ARE MOVING TO COLORADO.

Now you tell yourself you must go play Scrabble you can make up words like Edile and they’re actually RIGHT but you’re still losing horrifically (I need to find another playing partner than Peter. I’ve never won a game against him. Hmph.).

Then you realize this entire post is written in the third person mixed with first and you wonder who let the crazy out to play today.